Wednesday, June 28, 2006

It Never Rains But It Pours...

Well... I just won the lottery... Again.

Can you believe it? The odds are astronomical! You may remember my recent windfall with the Espana Lottery, and now I've won a completely different one. To quote my notification:

"This lottery was organized by an association of
software manufacturers who came together from all
parts of Europe including Great Britain, Spain, the
Netherlands and Belgium which are the major host
countries. All participants were selected through our
Microsoft computer ballot draw system, were we
extracted over 20,000.00 companies
and 3,000,000 individual email addresses and names
from all over the world."

Guess how much it was this time! $1.5 million. (Oh, if only I could see PinTA's face as she reads this...)

Not only that but they're looking out for me too.

"Due to mix up of some names and winning number, we ask
that you keep your winning information confidential
until your claim has been processed and your money remitted
to you, in your perspective country. Because this is
part of our new security protocol to avoid double
claiming and forgery of winners identity in this
program by some unscrupulous persons...
This is also to inform winners that there are so many
email letter all over the internet faking to be real,
so be warned!!! "

Can you imagine that some unscrupulous person would try to scam me out of my lottery winnings? Or that there are so many email letter faking to be real? Shame on them...

But there are more than just a few unscrupulous folks out there. Why just the other day I was propositioned by someone trying to save 26 million from the hands of those greedy bankers.

TEL: 27-73-616-5858



Dear Sir/Madam,

Please accept my apology if this letter comes to you as a surprise since I believe that we don’t know each other before now, but for the purpose of introduction, my name is Stanley Moboyo, the Auditor of AMALGAMATED BANK OF SOUTH AFRICA (ABSA). There is an account opened in this bank in 1980, but since the death of the account owner in a terrible plane crash (31st July, 2000,) no surviving beneficiary has come forth to claim this fund.

After going through some old files within the bank for the first quarters of the year, I discovered that if this money is not remitted out of this country immediately, it will be forfeited for nothing or better described as retired account by Board of Directors of the bank who actually will use this money in enriching a few already over-rich bank owners.

On further investigation, I discovered that even the company (Kruger Gold Co) where the late account owner who was a foreigner worked as a miner/geologist have no knowledge of the existence of this account or about the fund involved (US$26,M) TWENTY SIX MILLION DOLLARS.
As the money is in US Dollars account and can only be approved to a foreigner with some required information as the next of kin, I am contacting you to establish a relationship and possible transfer of this money into your nominated account outside South Africa.

Also, everything concerning the payment and transfer of this money would be done legally with all the necessary paper work processed and submitted to the bank to enable the payment into your nominated bank account. It is very essential that I have your full cooperation/undivided commitment to make this noble transaction be successful as the management of the bank is prepared to approve the remittance of this money to any foreigner who comes forth as the beneficiary.

In order to assist me realize this golden opportunity, 25% of the total sum will be earmarked as your share while 10% shall be set aside for any incidental expenses which may occur in the eventual payment and transfer of this money.

Please indicate your willingness to assist me in this transaction by calling me on this phone number + 27-73-616-5858, or e-mail address as stated above.

Due to my sensitive position within the bank, let us keep this transaction in top confidence and be assured that this business is a 100% risk free.

Expecting to hear from you soonest.

Best Regards,
Stanley Moboyo.


Stan the man... I salute you.


Blogger mr. schprock said...

Man, I am so jealous.

Is the U.S. a "perspective country"? Or do we have fire hydrants the size of skyscrapers and cathedrals the size of Yugos? I've never asked myself that before.

6/29/2006 6:16 AM  
Blogger LL said...

"Is the U.S. a "perspective country"?"

Good question. I guess it all depends on your perspective.

6/29/2006 7:53 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

I had to spend time laughing at the two of you before I could comment. The internet was the first place I started to get real penis envy. I mean, I could have increased the size by at least 50% by now ... according to the e-mails I've been getting. =)

In your other entry, I wrote about remote being heavenly. You're right, I would need something to ride on from time to time. (nix the part of that which is sounding lewd)

6/30/2006 8:01 AM  
Blogger LL said...

Nix it? That's the best part! ;)

The double and triple entendre is always welcomed here, so long as it's cleverly accomplished...

Damn... you get penis enlargement emails? All I get is these crappy notifications that I keep winning millions. You are sooo lucky.

6/30/2006 9:29 AM  
Blogger NYPinTA said...

Damn... you get penis enlargement emails? All I get is these crappy notifications that I keep winning millions. You are sooo lucky.

So, what you are really saying is that you need the enlargement emails. That might be more then you intended to reveal. (Or less actually. ;P )

6/30/2006 3:38 PM  
Blogger LL said...

I... erm... well... actually it's not something that I like to talk about or admit, but I'm hoping for the penis reduction ads. I understand that more men are afflicted with the need for more, and that there are very few in my position.

But I guess we are living in a perspective country.

7/01/2006 7:32 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

LMFAO! Oh boy, I needed that. Reduction. Hahaha. Love of double entendres noted. ;)

7/01/2006 10:26 AM  
Blogger LL said...

Hey... it's a serious subject. Imagine finding yourself in an amorous endeavor only to get light headed and pass out due to a lack of blood reaching the brain. It can put a serious crimp in one's love life...


7/01/2006 5:47 PM  
Blogger trinamick said...

At least you now have the money for implants. Now you can be just like Bob.

7/03/2006 2:00 PM  

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