Saturday, March 31, 2012

Good Gum...

I promised all of you a story here a while back... and well... now's as good a time as any.

One day back in college I happened to head out for a drive with a good friend and his brother. We were in a regular cab pickup and sittin' three wide so it didn't take much to talk from one end to the other.

Now I've already told you all about my penchant for gum back in the day, so as we were driving along... I pulled out my pack and took me a piece.

I knew it would be rude not to share, so I offered it around the cab of the pickup, and both of the brothers looked at me and said, "Yep, I'll have a piece." And here's where the story really begins...

When the gum was unwrapped and everyone was chewing along nicely, one of them said, "You never turn down gum when it's offered." The other said, "Youbet." Then they began to tell me a story...

"One time we were riding around in a pickup just like this. I was driving and he was sitting over by the door and there was another guy sitting in the middle. Now I don't know what this guy had for lunch but his breath was making the paint peel off the roof and being in the middle of a small cab... neither one of us could get away. To top it all off... he couldn't stop talking. Motor mouth to the extreme and was gassing up the cab.

It was cold outside, so there was no rolling down the window without freezing, and finally he [one brother] had an idea. He pulled out a pack of gum and took a piece and started chewing.

'Hey, do you want a stick?' 'Yeah, I do. Do you want some?' he said to motor mouth. 'No... I'm good.' was the reply. So along they went down the road with their eyes watering and motor mouth just rambling on and on and on...

'Damn... this is some good gum isn't it.' 'Yeah, it is. Are you sure you don't want any?' 'No... I'm good.' until finally we'd simply had enough.

'Dude... your breath is horrible, take some f*cking gum.'

'Oh... sorry about that.'"

So then one of them looks at me and says... "When someone you offers you gum, you take it whether you want to or not." And I just laughed.

***************************
Today's mystery lyric: (Remember the rules folks, no online searching of the lyrics, if you don't know it, you don't have the answer!)

Hey, what's the circumstance
You'll never be great without taking a chance
So, wait you waited too long
Had your hands in your pocket
When you should've been gone.

Answer to last lyric: It's a Long Way to the Top If You Want to Rock and Roll by AC/DC.

8 Comments:

Blogger The W.O.W. factor! said...

Leave it to you "boys"! (I was half expecting the punch line of something like the piece of gum you made him take was full of super-glue)

4/04/2012 3:15 PM  
Blogger LL said...

Now WOWie...

We'd never do something like that... Well...

Nahhh...

well...

Maybe. ;D

4/04/2012 7:39 PM  
Blogger The W.O.W. factor! said...

Yep! Just as I thought! Cannot reveal the "whole" truth about yerself!

4/04/2012 10:00 PM  
Blogger LL said...

I can neither confirm nor deny any such allegation...

:ewink:

4/04/2012 11:16 PM  
Blogger tiff said...

along the same lines - never pass up a chance to use the bathroom. You never know when another good opportunity will come along. :)

4/06/2012 12:40 PM  
Blogger LL said...

Guys don't need that kinda advice Tiffy...

We... well... our plumbing is much more... erm... accessible for draining in all types of situations and locations. Add in a little beer to mollify the ol' judgment and... well... Let's just put it this way. I have a friend who actually relieved himself in the middle of a liquor store parking lot at around 11 in the morning by leaning up against a pickup and washing off the wheel well...

4/06/2012 6:19 PM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

This guy at work and I used to play chess right after we ate lunch. During the game, every time I let out a long sigh, he'd offer me a stick of gum. I knew what it was for and I always turned him down. I just tried not to exhale too much of my Limburger cheese and onion sandwich breath across the board.

Although now when I think of it, purposely exhaling toxic fumes at him could have been a brilliant piece of strategy on my part. I always think of this stuff too late.

Great story, Your Loserness.

4/18/2012 11:54 AM  
Blogger LL said...

Your story wasn't too shabby itself...

It kinda stunk though.

4/18/2012 7:17 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home