Thursday, April 17, 2008

Goldilocks and the Two Cowboys...

Back in the day, before all of my friends got married, we used to head out occasionally and hit the clubs.

Of course around these parts, that meant driving 50 miles to some less than stellar place, but hey... everyone else headed there too. It was just about the only place in town. Not quite, but it was the college hangout, and we were almost college age.

Anyway... one of the bouncers was about 6'2" and was the kind of guy with a tailored pencil beard, semi bleach blonde hair which was one of those curled mullet type affairs. His name started with a B, but everyone we knew called him Goldilocks. I doubt to his face, but...

Anyway... he jumped from club to club too, working at the pig palace for a bit, then over to a new place then back. We'd see him everywhere, and we became fairly good acquaintances. It was friendly enough, and he turned out to be a pretty good guy.

One winter, one of the guys that I'd go clubbin' with, was out on his snowmobile riding it up in the back country and got stuck. He was in the middle of nowhere, and in about 6 feet of snow so he knew that it wasn't going to be easy getting it out by himself. Right about then, out of nowhere another snowmobile rolled over the hill and got stuck about 10 feet away from him. My buddy looked over there and made the newcomer a deal. He'd help the other guy dig out, if that guy would help him. The deal was made. Then they both took off their helmets and guess who the other guy was... yup. Goldilocks. They both laughed and proceeded to dig themselves out.

A short while after that, Goldilocks started dating a cousin of mine for a little while, and so we got a little better acquainted.

Then things change, and people get married and move on, and the weekly trips to town became more and more infrequent. Fact is... it'd been a couple years since we'd made the trip, then one night my buddy calls me and asks if I want to head over there with him. Sounded good, so we went.

Now when we drove into the parking lot, the place was packed. I hadn't seen it like that in forever, and outside of the club was a group of about 45 people standing around and talking. We didn't think much of it, it was a nice night, and the music inside sounded pretty loud, so I just figured they went outside to talk or something. Turns out... they were all waiting for someone to come out so that they could get in, but we didn't know that. We just walked up to the door, and before we could even get within 15 feet of it, the bouncer looked at us, pointed two fingers in our direction and said, "You two, you're in!" and went back to scanning the crowd. The crowd around us all shouted in unison, "Wha??? OH C'MON!!!" The bouncer? Oh yeah... it was Goldilocks.

We walked through the door before it hit us what had happened, and we started laughing. I'm chuckling about it right now as a matter of fact. Later on, he came inside and found us at our table and we said our hellos and chatted for a bit. I really don't know why people were waiting outside... the place was actually pretty lame, so we drank a few brews and headed out. I suppose if we would have been younger, and closer to everyone else's age it might have been funner, but alas that lifestyle is for the younger crowd.

I haven't seen Goldilocks since then, but then I haven't been clubbin' either. I do have to admit though, it was pretty fun being in the "in crowd", at least for the night.

****************

And now a big shoutout to my favorite Pixie, Tink. As you've already seen from my comment section, she thought enough to give me this:

I don't quite know what that says about this blog... but it certainly makes me think that the hot Florida sun is starting to get to her...

***********

Perhaps it's a good thing that I have stopped clubbin'.

25 Comments:

Blogger MW said...

You have to admire a guy who can stick to such a "high-profile" career like that for so many years without suffering any burnout. He must really love what he does. ;-)

But, alas, as has happened to so many female TV news anchors in the old days, some cruel manager will probably replace him some day with a younger Goldilocks.

My comments were repeatedly eaten earlier today.

4/19/2008 12:48 AM  
Blogger MW said...

I'll bet other people's comments were being eaten too.

4/19/2008 12:49 AM  
Blogger LL said...

Thanks for the heads up MW. The same thing happens over at your blog with me. I can read your posts just fine, but it will not let me comment. No how, no way... I'm not ignoring you, I just can't tell you what I think!

As for Goldilocks... yeah, you would get burnt out putting up with that kinda crap after a while, but he kinda became the head dude and so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I don't know if that was his only job or not, but I bet it was. He'd probably come on duty at 5 and not get off until 2:30 or 3.

It might be interesting to see if he's still over in that area in some capacity.

4/19/2008 9:35 AM  
Blogger fermicat said...

I have to admit, when I read the post title, I thought "Goldilocks" was going to be a girl. But a bouncer with a mullet also makes for good story tellin'.

Now I feel lucky that "our pub" is a 5 mile trip. And no bouncers. They get the managers to throw people out if they get out of hand. Fortunately it doesn't happen too often.

4/19/2008 9:12 PM  
Blogger MW said...

LL, I apologize in advance for re-increasing your reading load by one more blog (ha), but I have found a workaround for the "eaten-comments" flaw.

You obviously click the "Preview" button in some cases in order to preview your comment in its final format, just as I do. When you have finished reading it and approve of what you have written, you then click the "publish this comment" link at the bottom of the yellow preview box, just as I do. For some reason, that link is not working (at least not all the time), and your comments get eaten (mine actually remain unaffected on my Mac; they just don't get published). However, if you scroll back up and click the big, orange "PUBLISH YOUR COMMENT" button, the comment gets posted.

P.S. I just now tried the "publish this comment" link in the yellow box with this comment, and it failed once again. Now I shall try the big, orange "PUBLISH YOUR COMMENT" button...

P.S. Also, I'm just kidding about re-increasing your reading load. You certainly don't have to feel obligated to comment on every one of my entries if you don't want to. I would be a hypocrite if I expected you to do that.

4/20/2008 12:33 AM  
Blogger magnetbabe said...

It always seems to happen that we make our way into the "in" crowd just when we don't care anymore. One of life's great ironies.

Goldilocks sounds like a pretty cool guy though, mullet and all.

4/20/2008 3:13 PM  
Anonymous bc said...

For some reason, I thought of RoadHouse.

4/20/2008 4:44 PM  
Blogger tiff said...

If you know the bouncer, you're in. Rule 1 of clubbing.

Bar hopping is a younger person's game...drankin' at home is cheaper and an easier commute! ;)

4/21/2008 8:11 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

I'm retitling this post "Goldilocks and the Three Beers". Why? Because I want to. Mwahahaha.

4/21/2008 12:46 PM  
Blogger LL said...

Three beers? Oh my dear Tink... there were usually more than three beers involved...

But if you're retitling it, does that mean that you're now disputing the excellence of my blog titles? Hmmmmm??? ;)

Tiff - Around these parts it's usually that if you're willing to pay the cover charge, you're part of the exclusive... And drankin at home is definitely cheaper, although a bit more on the lonely side...

Dr. Babe - I think not caring if you're in the "in crowd" is usually a prerequisite of being in the "in crowd". If you have to try to be a part of anything, you'll never be it...

BC - I think they wanted it to be Road House, but we all know how that goes.

fermi - if you think 50 miles one way is a long drive... you need to try it at the end of the night when you've been playin' all eve. Hence the phrase, "We had to drive, we were too drunk to walk!"

4/21/2008 1:20 PM  
Blogger wa11z said...

Good story. Wonder what happened to Goldilocks?

4/21/2008 10:22 PM  
Blogger LL said...

I've got no clue, Wa11z...

4/22/2008 11:11 PM  
Blogger ctheokas said...

Dude, you are so Goldilocks. Don't lie.

4/25/2008 9:29 AM  
Blogger LL said...

Sorry C... I'm not 6'2", and my beard is a bit more on the wild side...

4/25/2008 4:18 PM  
Anonymous bc said...

And red...

;o)

4/25/2008 10:49 PM  
Blogger NYPinTA said...

Last time I went out and knew the bouncer it was a kid I went to school with since kindergarten. That was quite a while ago. I'm not much of a cluber.

4/27/2008 1:40 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

I find you very readable and excellent. Tink made a good choice. (Goldilocks is a prime example of why) I've never been to a club where you had to stand outside and be picked to go in. Oh damn, my young fragile ego would not have been able to take it!

4/28/2008 9:59 AM  
Blogger LL said...

P - Not much of a clubber, eh? Probably because all the old guys don't go to clubs anymore... :ewink: Nahhh... I suspect it just shows a greater realization on your part that 1) it's a waste of time and money, and 2) most of the guys that hang out at clubs are just lookin' for some action, not a real connection.

Beth - You too? I had no idea that so many of my readers place such a low value on excellence... ;P Also... Cute girls always make the cut at clubs, it's just the ugly guys that get put on hold (and are willing to wait all night for the chance to get in). There isn't a place that I'd wait in line to go to personally.

4/29/2008 7:31 AM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

I'm trying to picture you as the "clubbin'" sort, LL...I'm figurin' you weren't going to a goth club...

5/05/2008 9:55 AM  
Blogger LL said...

Wha? You don't think I can "get down with it"? That I'm not "jiggy" enough for the club scene? That I...

Meh... you're probably right. And there aren't any Goth clubs in this part of the world, although I would have gone in there, just to people watch if nothing else...

5/06/2008 7:23 AM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

It might be the picture of Yukon Cornelius...

5/07/2008 8:19 AM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

Um, "Almost a Libertarian????" Since when? I thought that was a link to MW!

5/07/2008 8:50 AM  
Blogger LL said...

No Kath... that's always been to you. ;) Ever since I first started hitting your blog...

5/07/2008 5:29 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

No, I'm not a person who can wait in line either. It would have to be something massive to get me to wait in line. Like, hmm, a real alien or the Loch Ness monster. Something cool like that, but to go to a club and hear very loud music that I dislike? No.

The whole system seems flawed to me. It's one of the things I dislike about Hollywood. Favor beauty, but who cares about brains?

In the event of a real disaster, they'd be the first ones to perish. I hate to say it or write it, but it's true. You can still be pretty and have intregrity plus some smarts. lol

5/12/2008 10:56 AM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

Oy vey! ;-)

5/13/2008 10:03 AM  

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