Wednesday, April 02, 2008

They're Coming to Take Me Away...

Over at a BB that I frequent, I happened to mention that I've actually seen a black helicopter, and of course that led to someone asking me to tell the tale...

Since that's more blog fodder than BB fodder, I decided to put the story up here.

Ok... now despite the definitions put out in wikipedia, to me a black helicopter is any helicopter without the mandatory tail numbers or markings indentifying it. Now I never thought that it had to be black in color, just "black" as in "off book".

I've heard tales of black helicopters for years, and although I never dismissed the stories, I never really thought much about them as being true either. I guess they're just like Nessie, some people say they've seen her, others think it's crap. I dunno...

But there I was one late summer afternoon, up in the middle of nowhere hauling hay. I was putting along in my stacker just minding my own business, when I happened to notice something out of place. I couldn't tell you what it was, but for some reason my mind just said... "That ain't right." So I ignored it, and went back to picking up the bales, but I kept looking back up that way just to see.

Now this area is actually in an MOA and so I'm accustomed to having military jets and things sneak up on me all the time, but this time... it wasn't the same. So I wanted to figure it out. Now I've seen F4's, F-111's, B-1B's, B-52's, F-16, F-15's, A-10's and a few real screamers that I couldn't identify, and they're always right at "tree top" level practicing their terrain following skills. It's pretty cool. I'll tell you a few of those stories sometime too...

But anyway, I turned my outfit back around, scanned the skies, and finally had some movement below the horizon (actually about 200 feet off the ground) catch my attention. "What the heck is that?" I asked myself, and could see that it was heading toward me. It was a dark spot against the grey mottled sagebrush sidehills. "Oh... that's a helicopter. Ok." And went back to my task.

When I recognized it, it was a couple of miles away, and so I didn't think anything more about it, but every time I had to turn back that way, I looked up there and it kept getting closer. It was about this time that I just pushed the clutch in and stopped to watch it, and it was fairly easy to see now. And there it was... a black helicopter. Literally. It was black in color. It was also one of those little bubble choppers like TC flew in Magnum P.I. and it came right to me and started hovering. I got a pretty good look at it, because they were hovering at about 80 feet. There were two guys in the front of it, and they hovered there for about 10 or 15 seconds, then the turned on the steady axis, and I was shocked...

There were no markings on the chopper. No numbers, no letters, it was a solid matte black. I'd never seen anything like it before. As they finished their turn and headed around the little mountain I was stacking next to, I could see the other side of the helicopter. It was blank too...

Of course at this point, I knew nobody was going to believe this story, but I also know that my cousins were around the mountain putting up their own hay, and that's where the chopper headed. That evening when I quit for the day, I drove down there and stopped in to ask them if they'd seen it too. The answer kinda surprised me. Yeah, they'd seen it, and this was the third day in a row that it'd done the same thing...

I looked for it the next day, but I've never seen it again. And there you have it, my not-so-famous black helicopter story.

21 Comments:

Blogger Tink said...

*Ominous voice* They're watching you... ;)

4/03/2008 7:22 AM  
Blogger LL said...

*hushed tone* Really? :P

4/03/2008 8:10 AM  
Blogger ctheokas said...

Dude, that is awesome! Shit, I thought you were just screwin' around on the BB.

4/03/2008 8:24 AM  
Blogger wa11z said...

Was it silent like they say or did it make noise?

4/03/2008 12:13 PM  
Blogger LL said...

No... it sounded just like a helicopter. Thupthupthupthup...

Cthee -- Hey... I just reports what I seez... I can show you where it came from and everything.

Makes a guy wonder though... if I were to have whipped out the ol' arm cannon and shot it down... would it really exist? And if so... who would prosecute me, and for what?

4/03/2008 5:06 PM  
Anonymous bc said...

Not like there are alot of places to hide out there. ;o)

4/03/2008 5:16 PM  
Blogger MW said...

Maybe they are huge fans of your blog and were arguing with one another about who should shimmy down the rope ladder and ask you for your autograph. In the end, they both chickened out. ;-)

Seriously, you have to wonder what their real reason was for singling you -- a lone tractor diver -- out for special attention. Were they just having fun with you, hoping you would tell other people and not be believed? Or were they hoping to make you feel threatened for their own sadistic pleasure?

Or, most importantly of all, maybe we, your readers, should ask you just who the heck you really are! Furthermore, is it possible that we will be "disappeared" some day (right along with you) for reading your "subversive" blog? ;-p

Actually, it is more likely that you will be "disappeared" for reading mine. Ha.

P.S. "BB," hmm? All I can think of is "Body & Bath," "Bed & Breakfast" or "Biker Bar."

4/03/2008 8:37 PM  
Blogger fermicat said...

No black helicopters, but I saw some jets take off and fly over while I was in the San Diego area - very cool (and loud).

4/03/2008 8:38 PM  
Blogger fermicat said...

Military jets, I should add, from North Island Naval Air Station.

4/03/2008 8:41 PM  
Blogger LL said...

MW -- Hmmmm... I hadn't even started blogging then... I don't think anyway. As for who I am... well... let's just say I'm on the govt radar screen, for real, and leave it at that. One of these days, I might even blog about it. Doubtful, but I might.

Mil jets are pretty cool aren't they fermi...

4/03/2008 8:57 PM  
Blogger LL said...

BC -- It's big country out here... You'd be surprised at all the hiding places...

4/03/2008 8:59 PM  
Blogger MW said...

Hey, LL! I was only being rhetorical for the sake of feeble humor! I didn't mean to cause you to partially expose yourself!

I suspect my ardent belief in the U.S. Constitution has (or will eventually) put me on this criminal government's radar screen also.

4/03/2008 9:11 PM  
Blogger LL said...

Fear not MW... I'll never reveal more than I want to.

I got the humor, it's just that good humor often hits close to home. But you didn't "out" me in any way...

4/03/2008 9:48 PM  
Blogger Tink said...

Are you denying your award? Are you saying I'm WRONG? *Open mouth stare*

4/04/2008 6:44 AM  
Blogger LL said...

Wrong? Erm... I... uh... :P

It's just that Excellence is in the eye of the beholder. And do you honestly think that this blog is "Excellent"? Passable maybe, peculiar certainly, but excellent? Now Pickled Beef... there's a exercise in excellence. And Twisted Tink? Fugetaboutit...

Besides... when I read the terms of accepting the award, I'd have to pass it along to TEN more blogs! That's a lot of pressure... shoot... do I even have 10 blogs in the ol' blogroll?

Ok... ok... I'll conditionally accept the award, but just because it's coming from you! :P

4/04/2008 7:34 AM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

Hmm, MW half-assedly asked, but you didn't answer, so I'm asking...what's a BB?

I agree with Tiff on the Excellence of your blog. I think it is its peculiarity that makes it excellent. It's different from most others.

4/04/2008 8:13 AM  
Blogger MW said...

"Half-assedly," Kathleen?

I just didn't want to look completely clueless by asking it in plain English. Hahahaha.

4/04/2008 9:21 AM  
Anonymous bc said...

"BC -- It's big country out here... You'd be surprised at all the hiding places..."

Thats what I was refering to. I was being sarcastic. ;o)

I know where you live... Muhuhahahahaha.

4/04/2008 6:06 PM  
Blogger LL said...

Kath -- a BB is an online Bulletin Board like PinTA's new one about books. (for those of you who want to, follow the winkin' kitty link in my blogroll and then go from there)

As for the rest... Peculiarity does not for excellence make... or something like that. :P (Oh BTW, 'twas Tink, not Tiff)

4/04/2008 8:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Spending time in Wilder, ID and here in Phoenix I've seen a lot of different military flight mobiles. Living so close to the Mexican border we routinely see drones and other aircraft looking for people crossing the border.

Debo Blue

4/06/2008 1:52 AM  
Blogger MW said...

They're getting more brazen, LL: Black Helicopters Over Denver and Florida.

6/18/2008 6:28 PM  

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