Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Eyes Have It...

Wow... two posts in less than a month? I'm on a roll...

As a few of my regular readers know... I'm not wont to put my picture up here in the wide world web... or at least not all of it. And, believe it or not, there are a few folks who have asked me why I always black out my eyes. Well... time to tell you another story that happened not all that long ago.

The night of Sexy Rexy's funeral, I went down to the local to see if they were having a wake of sorts for him. A few of the folks I saw at the funeral told me that they'd be there sometime or other, so I decided to go a visit.

When I got there, the place was almost empty. A couple of people here, a few there. Not much of a crowd at all. So I bellied up to the bar and ordered a draft just because I didn't have the heart to just turn around and go.

I cleaned up and was wearing my leather jacket, but it was still winter, and I was sporting my flowing locks and Yukon Cornelius beard. However, I wasn't wearing any kind of a hat, so my thick wavy hair was in full "fro" mode, although swept back.

The first one went down pretty easy, so I ordered another. As I was starting my second round, the wife of a neighbor of mine who'd been there a while, staggered around to the back of the bar and walked right up in front of me and asked, "Do I know you?"

I looked at her and said, "I dunno, that's a question that only you know the answer to."

She nodded, "Yep. You're right. So let me ask this, do you know me?"

I replied, "Yes, I know who you are."

She studied me for a while, all the time I'm getting a kick out of stumping the drunk, then she asked again, "Have we met before?"

"Yes, we've met before."

"You've got to be a [my last name]." she finally told me.

"What makes you say that?" I inquired.

"It's your eyes. They look like a [my last name]'s eyes."

And this folks... is the truth. My great grandfather branded a lot of us with a common set of eyes. While my appearance may change quite a bit, there's one thing that can't, and that's the eyes. If only Mrs. Bunyon were still around here to confirm it all for ya. ;)

And that folks, is why you'll never see them... online at least.

Today's mystery lyric: (Remember the rules folks, no online searching of the lyrics, if you don't know it, you don't have the answer!)

Remember the time
When I eat you up?
You know that I wasn't lyin'
that you can't give up
So if I was to cheat
on you baby would you see right through me?
If I sing a sad, sad, sad, sad song
would you give it to me?

Answer to last lyric: Cemetary Gates by Pantera. Way to go g_s you headbanger you!


Blogger BC said...

Hahaha... I will confirm it.

I just find it funny that she didnt know who you were because of your hair. LOL How long did it take before she got your first name?

4/13/2010 5:26 PM  
Blogger fermicat said...

There is a good reason why we black out patients' eyes when we use a setup photo in a presentation. It is a very reliable way to hide true identity.

It is funny how traits are passed down. I have my Dad's eyes, and my mouth and teeth are almost identical to how his looked as well (minus his facial hair, of course, thank God). And his mother's bone structure, but who is gonna ID you by your wrists and fingers? Mom's contribution? Good hair. And common sense.

4/13/2010 9:24 PM  
Blogger tiff said...

Ah, stump the drunk. Gooood times.

4/14/2010 1:45 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

you have had your pic up here before without your eyes blacked out.

4/16/2010 12:41 AM  
Blogger LL said...

BC - She got it right after she asked and I told her.

fermi - Don't forget you blamed the whole cat thing on your mom too... As a general rule, a lot of us have darker blue eyes with crows feet. Too much of a giveaway.

Tiff - Yup. Sometimes better than others. ;)

JennyLu - My dear, I don't think you've ever seen my entire face, because I'm pretty sure I've never posted it. My entire backside maybe, but not the front.

4/17/2010 11:56 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

my bad it was june/july 08 but your right the eyes are blacked out now. could have sworn they were blue.

4/18/2010 12:06 AM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

Wait, so you don't walk around with a black bar taped to your face? You "doctor" your photos then? I'll need some time to process this information.

4/19/2010 6:40 PM  
Blogger LL said...

No, no Mr. S...

I have one of those portable black bar generators that I carry with me.

4/19/2010 10:42 PM  
Blogger John said...

I don't get it. We can't see you because everyone in your family shares one set of eyes, so you have to share them? Wouldn't that just mean that you can't see us?

4/23/2010 8:03 AM  
Blogger LL said...

It's kind of like a compound eye...

We all share our own lens.

4/23/2010 4:15 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

cyclops then?

4/23/2010 11:42 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

so you did pee on a high voltage fence... and merged ya'll;s eyes together?

4/23/2010 11:42 PM  
Blogger LL said...

No ma'am... we're smarter than that.

4/24/2010 9:31 PM  
Blogger trinamick said...

If they are compound eyes, are they set up like a network? Do you see what your kin down the way is lookin' at? I'm glad that's not the way it works in my family. My cousins watch way too much porn.

Everyone says they recognize me after years have gone by from my brown eyes. Sadly, my eyes have never been brown. Does that mean they are recognizing someone else instead of me?

4/27/2010 2:46 PM  
Blogger LL said...

I think it means that you've never let anyone get close enough to actually see your eye color. Either that or you don't know what the color brown actually looks like...

As for seeing what the kin does, yes... I do, but only when we're in the same location. Thankfully this is the way it works. Your kin watches porn, a good chunk of mine are Mormon. I don't want to know what they're watchin...

4/27/2010 7:22 PM  
Blogger Train Wreck said...

Ok so let me get this straight. You post your photo, but mask your eyes... ? Don't you think that the people that live near you, and know you would still be able to pick you out and recognize you anyway? And all of us out here in blogland, who cares if we see your whole face? I am pretty sure no one would ever actully meet you in person? And If anyone here ever did meet you, are you worried we would holler across the street "Hey Lord LOSER!!And your cover would be blown? Or are you afraid that we will be able to read your soul? Or is it just your mysterious side? You should be proud that you have such a trait. And I am guessing your eyes to be hazel, but more on the green side depening out what color you are wearing. AND YOU KNOW YOU MISSED ME! :)

4/30/2010 12:09 PM  
Blogger LL said...

Wow... that's a lot of questions TDub...

The answer is yes. Except of course for the missing you part... :P Wha? Ok... maybe a little.

4/30/2010 12:22 PM  
Blogger Train Wreck said...

Wel that was a cop out if I ever read one...lol I have to admit I was hesitant about showing my face, and name. Hence the aka "Trainwreck" But photoshop will do wonders. I am actually 200 llbs heavier, blonde and single. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA ! Wha... you excpected no less ha ha Thats why you miss me:)

5/03/2010 2:19 PM  
Blogger LL said...

If it didn't answer it that way, you'd have thought less of me! Besides that... I've seen far too many of your pics to ever believe that you're blonde and resemble an opera singer.

And to lie and say you aren't married... have you no shame TDub? Anyone who wears thongs as often as you do has to be married... I mean... it's almost indecent for a single gal to show off that way!

5/03/2010 7:24 PM  
Blogger Train Wreck said...

No foolin you is there?! lol I still thik it would not throw the world of its axis, if you posted a picture without the black bar. AND you will be happy to know I now am the proud owner of one more pair of boots. Also I just modeled in a friends fashion show, wearing boots with all of my outfits. Two of which were dresses. Yep I am married, and showing signs of decency. ;)

5/08/2010 8:13 PM  

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