Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree...

Damn... how sad is it that on a Thursday night there's nothing worth watching? How much sadder is it that I'm bored enough to actually make another post...

Oh well...

Time for another tale from the days of yore.

Back in the day, I went to college. I know... you can't tell most days, but yes... I've actually got a couple of degrees under my belt. But this isn't about my intellectual prowess, no... actually it's about my sweet tooth.

One of our favorite haunts was the Premium Malt Shoppe. And, believe it or not, they served malts and milk shakes. There's a shocker, no? And not just some weak runny colored crap. These were a real man's milkshake. 50's motif, the employees wore the red and white vertical striped uniforms and the little white paper hats, and the shakes were edible only with a spoon and on an empty stomach. Thick and 3 inches above the top of the cup. *slurp* If there was a Premium in Maine, I'd give it some ME love.

Anyway... one of the best parts about the ol' shoppe, was the drive up window. One of the worst parts about the ol' shoppe was the wait at the drive up window. The "Premium" was on the main street and only set back about two car lengths. That meant that the car at the window was out of harm's way, as was the car directly behind it. Next came the sidewalk, and that meant the third vehicle in line was half on, half off the main road. But that's where they'd run out and take your order so it was all good. After that, you just pulled off to the side of the road and hoped people didn't rear end you.

We were in the third hole the day that this particular tale took place. We were in my friend's pickup, and we knew enough not to block the sidewalk, because... well... it was common courtesy.

So we're viztin' along there as we waited about some life changing event I'm sure, when from our right a kid of about 8 years old rides down the sidewalk on his bicycle. He was a little wobbly, and his handlebars and front wheel were weaving back and forth just about as far as possible without him eating it. Now as I said... there was a good 4 feet between the car in front of us and the pickup's grill, plenty of room for him to get by, but he started to panic at the narrow corridor and just as he got to the middle of my buddy's front bumper, he wrecked right into the grill. He quickly put his left foot down to keep from falling all the way and then looked up at us in shock/embarrassment with his mouth half agape. The poor little guy had on these big coke bottle eyeglasses with wire frames. We felt really bad for the kid, and no anger was to be found even though the plastic grill might have suffered a little damage in the process.

The kid rights himself and speeds away before his dad, who was riding his bicycle right behind him, ran into him.

The dad slows down a bit and the kid rides away, but then the dad get's a little shakey and... BAM! tips over in exactly the same place as the kid, falling right into my buddy's grill. The dad quickly put his left foot down to keep from falling all the way and then looked up at us in shock/embarrassment with his mouth half agape. The dad had on these HUGE coke bottle eyeglasses with wire frames.

Now this turn of events was not what we'd expected. Neither one of us said a word, the dad righted the ship and peddled away. I looked over at my buddy, he looked over at me.

We both busted up laughing uncontrollably.

EDIT!!! This just in...


Today's mystery lyric: (Remember the rules folks, no online searching of the lyrics, if you don't know it, you don't have the answer!)

But the swagman he upped
and he jumped into the water hole
drowning himself by the coolibah tree
and his ghost ghost can be heard
as you walk along the bilabong

Answer to last lyric: Run to the Hills by Iron Maiden. Way to go Dan!.


Blogger fermicat said...

Nothing to watch? Pfft. There was a perfectly good ACC meltdown on ESPN. Speaking of which, what kind of wussy coach doesn't go for it on 4th-and-5 with 4 minutes left in the game? I think we have our answer now.

You tell a hell of a story. I can see those two guys with the coke bottle glasses clear as day. And now I'm laughing too.

10/23/2009 9:07 AM  
Blogger Train Wreck said...

ahahahhahha That must have been a sight! Did you look around for the mom? Sakes alive, you would have thought the dad would have at least said something? Too funny. Good thing you hadn't got your order yet, no one like to have anything come out their nose! Good one LL. Oh and you know you missed me....

10/23/2009 8:56 PM  
Blogger LL said...

fermi - I can only stand so much of the minor leagues. NC and FSU don't rise to that level.

The son and his dad were exact copies of each other. EXACT! Same hair, same face, same shocked look, same half agape mouth... That's what made it so funny!

TW - 'Twas quite a sight to behold. I was laughing too hard to look for the mom.

As for missing you... well... maybe a little, but don't let it go to your head. ;)

10/23/2009 9:31 PM  
Blogger fermicat said...

First half wasn't bad. Carolina was actually looking like they had a real, actual offense. But then something happened at halftime and when they came back out, well... lets just say that if Yates was throwing and trying to hit the broad side of a barn, there would be a bruised cow out in the pasture somewhere.

10/24/2009 8:29 AM  
Blogger Train Wreck said...

Wait till you hear about my HUNTING trip! Oh I love the outdoors. Everything about it, cept the snow, and snakes, chiggers maybe,

10/24/2009 2:30 PM  
Blogger Dani Cally said...

Long time no chat !!! Miss you !!!!!

10/24/2009 9:02 PM  
Blogger dr sardonicus said...

I like the drinking stories better.

That's "Waltzing Matilda", of course, a poem written by the great bard of the outback, A. B. "Banjo" Patterson. But who am I supposed to give you for an artist? Every damn Aussie who ever picked up a guitar has sang "Waltzing Matilda". I'm sure even Midnight Oil has a version out there somewhere. It was almost made the Australian national anthem in the 70's, and IIRC, the Australian government gets a portion of the royalties each year.

10/25/2009 8:51 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

When I was 12 I was riding my bike when I saw two "cute guys" (quotes because years later I wonder if I was nuts at the time) walked in front of my house. I became so flustered my front tire hit a hole which sent me flying off my bike. Lucky for me, I landed on my feet so I pretended that was the plan all along.

My cool rep remained intact. Until, on a dare, I went into the guys locker room... who am I kidding? After that I became a legend!

What were we talking about?

10/25/2009 10:31 PM  
Blogger LL said...

fermi - it was probably the halftime speech that did it. "We're mediocre in football dammit! Now go out there and play like this is a basketball driven school!"

TW - Heaven help us all if you've been hunting. The jackalopes will never be safe again...

Danigirl - Awwwwww... :kotc:

Doc - Drinking stories? What drinking stories... *whistles innocently*

BEEutiful - I've been to your blog... Does anyone ever know what you're talking about? :P Good to see you darlin'.

10/25/2009 11:18 PM  
Blogger Train Wreck said...

Bwaahahaha I wouldn't shoot a innocent jackalope, now a coyote on the other hand... Actually my husband had an elk tag. First one in 17 years(actually the only one) Yep I got to tag along. AND I thought of you while I was hiking throught the cactus, rocks and pine needles....I'll bet you'll never guess why?

10/28/2009 5:48 PM  
Blogger LL said...

Because I naturally come to mind when you see hard, prickly things?

10/28/2009 8:46 PM  
Blogger tiff said...

Dude - malt shop? What you, 80 years old?


10/29/2009 9:32 AM  
Blogger Train Wreck said...

Oh you are a bad bad fella! Actually I was wearing flip flops the whole hike! hahaha and I kept up. Hey My husband said we were just going to drive around and see how close we could get to the edge of the canyon. How was I supposed to know that would mean hiking too? And I do not Bedazzle my lingerie. Now I might consider my flip flops, you in need of a pair? lol

10/29/2009 10:00 AM  
Blogger Dr Jenn said...

and this has WHAT to do with National Cat Day?

10/29/2009 11:41 PM  
Blogger NYPinTA said...

That poor kid never had a chance. ;)

Thursday is Supernatural day. If you aren't watching that, you are wasting your life.

11/01/2009 9:36 PM  
Blogger Charmaine said...

Ah. Beautiful. Me thinks, now, that you are indeed a good man.

You have my admiration...until tomorrow.

11/01/2009 9:51 PM  
Blogger LL said...

tiff - as a matter of fact... ;)

TW - Wha? :ewink: You should know better than to ever wear flip flops when you leave the house. It's not right!

JennyLu - It has nothing to do with it. And that's just fine with this blog. ;)

P - Stupornatural? But that would require that I had the UPCW. I try to avoid certain behavioral patterns like that... :P

Charm - I have your admiration until tomorrow? What happens tomorrow? :P

11/02/2009 11:18 PM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

Was that Millhouse and his dad? You know, from The Simpsons? And get this: Millhouse's mom look just the same too! Oh man, if SHE was there! Hoo boy.

I'm pretty sure your mystery lyric is a Black Sabbath song. Give me a while and I'll think of the title.

11/05/2009 1:28 PM  
Blogger Charmaine said...

Ll- tomorrow I kick your ass.

It's becoming, recently, my favorite thing to do.

Hold up, I haven't kicked your ass lately.

I have chocolate chips in my bra. How did THAT happen? I can't focus.

Where is my wine glass?

11/06/2009 9:48 PM  
Blogger Charmaine said...

I just mean that everything turns on a dime in my world.

PS: Where did you grow up, Mayberry?

11/17/2009 12:17 AM  
Blogger Train Wreck said...

Oh you know you would probably fit the bill! & What are you doing up so late? Oh wait I know downloading in your alloted time frame? ;)

11/17/2009 11:31 PM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

I love Malt Shops and that map of the World.

And my work Help(less) Desk is living up to their name in spades.

11/18/2009 7:45 AM  
Blogger LL said...

Ahhh Mr. Schprock, here I thought you'd left this blogger coil for good. Glad to have you back around. Tweren't Milhouse though... the eyes were too narrow for that. As for the lyric... close, very close!

Charm - too bad I don't live closer. Just to show how gallant I am, I would have volunteered to lick those melted chips right off of you and save you the trouble. :ewink:

And Mayberry? Oh no my dear, I didn't grow up in Mayberry. That's waaaaaay too big a city for this particular peppermint miner to inhabit. ;P

Tdub - I might fit the bill you say? I didn't realize you set that bar that low... ;) As for my nocturnal habits... a gentleman doesn't discuss such things... and neither do I. :ewink:

Kath - I got a kick out the map too especially the uninhabited part. Classic. As for ye ol' malt shoppe... it went the way of the dodo bird, unfortunately.

Perhaps you need to visit the Help window instead...

11/18/2009 9:18 PM  

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