Sunday, June 07, 2009

"About a Bastard" the Resolution...

Ok... where were we. Ah yes... we'd just jumped in the car and were heading for Salt Lake.

As I said last time, Chief was driving because C and I had that little physiology experiment going on. Now Chief's car was a larger Buick type thing, but it was only a two door. C and I got in the back, which turned out to not be a good thing, while P and Chief were in the front.

I can't really remember what exact month it was, but it was in the dead of winter so that makes it either Jan or Feb. The reason that was important is because Chief cranked the heat up in the ol' coche. So in a matter of a few miles... the car was approaching 1000 degrees on the inside. Not only that, but the road between our little university town and the greater Wasatch area was through a narrow and twisting canyon. Many twists and turns to be had.

There are all types of drivers in this world. Smooth and steady, rough and ragged, and then there's Chief.

Even though he was completely sober, you'd have never known it. Every curve we came to he tried to turn into a 90 degree corner. Straight, straight, straight, hard right. Straight, straight, straight, hard left. Now when you combine the excessive heat, stuffiness of the inside of the car, and the herky jerky action of the driver, oh yeah... and maybe, just maybe the large volume of a certain amber elixir sloshing around in my gut, you get something not completely unlike extreme car sickness.

I took it as long as I could, then had to yell "Pullover!" in that "it's all coming back up" kinda way. Funny thing, that particular way of speaking leads to a universal understanding without any other explanation.

Chief hit the brakes and we skidded to a halt as P hurriedly threw the door open and leaned forward so I could get out of the back seat before he took an unwanted shower. I scrambled out of the car and tried to expel the fluids that were now quite unsettled in my stomach.

But another funny thing happened. Once I got out of the car and was hit in the face with the cool oxygen filled air of the great outdoors, I immediately felt much better. Physiology at it's finest.

This entire sequence of events repeated itself not 10 miles down the road. This time while I was out of the car, P moved into the back seat and I took over the shotgun position. From then on, I was able to crack the window and everything was copacetic.

However... the clock was working against us, and we could see that the erm... school, was going to be closed by the time we got there. But, Chief knew of another educational establishment close by in Ogden, so we all decided to go there instead.

We walked into the joint, payed a little tuition at the door, and sat down at the areas provided for us. Now this place really took education seriously and had the instructors on elevated platforms at eye level so we could really learn. They also had a nice padded leather strip around the entire edge of the platform about waist high too. The physiology lesson kicked into overdrive and my eyelids became very heavy. The padding looked sooooo comfortable, I just had to lay my head down and try it out.

That dern waitress though... she kept coming by and tapping me on the shoulder and asking, "Are you alright honey? Are you sure there's nothing I can get you?" But I assured her everything was fine each time, and she'd move on.

About 10 minutes later, the lights came on in the place and the study session was over for the night. Damn... we just got there I complained. It was about then that my cohorts informed me we'd been there about 3 hours and I'd slept the whole time. Dagonnit... I hate missing out on educational opportunities like that, but oh well.

So we drove back home without any further ado.

Fast forward now back to Chief's wedding reception. We were talking about things as I've previously mentioned and Chief's new bride came over to listen. I asked him where they were going to live and he told us Salt Lake. I could have let him off the hook, but as I said last time... I'm not that guy.

"Yeah... I remember we were all headed down to Salt Lake one time, but we didn't make it past Ogden if I remember correctly." I said.

Chief turned white and just kinda nodded in agreement. P looked over at me with half a smile and just shook his head slowly.

Chief's new bride was a bit confused, coming in so late in the tale, and told him she needed him to come over and meet a couple of other folks. We said our goodbyes and walked over to the table where P's wife was sitting. Once we got seated, P looked over at me with a smirk on his face and said...

"I've decided you're about a bastard."


Today's mystery lyric: (Remember the rules folks, no online searching of the lyrics, if you don't know it, you don't have the answer!)

Thrown like a star in my vast sleep
I open my eyes to take a peep
To find that I was by the sea
Gazing with tranquillity.

Answer to last lyric: Perfect Strangers by Deep Purple.


Blogger BC said...

I didnt know they had waitresses in school. :P

6/08/2009 5:37 PM  
Blogger Red said...

well that was slightly boring... well cept the part where you almost blew chunks. Now had you blew all over everyone... THAT would have been a barrel of laughs.

6/08/2009 7:01 PM  
Blogger LL said...

Hey... I never promised a good story... just a story.

6/08/2009 7:28 PM  
Blogger LL said...

BC - well... I suppose they were more like teacher's assistants...

6/08/2009 8:21 PM  
Blogger tiff said...

I quite like how you're so dogged in your pursuit of education - even to the point of exhaustion!

6/09/2009 3:28 PM  
Blogger LL said...

Yes Tiff... it's all about the education around these parts. ;)

6/09/2009 4:39 PM  
Blogger fermicat said...

Well, you could see that end coming. Your friend's wife just might be right. ;-)

6/09/2009 8:27 PM  
Blogger LL said...

Friend's wife? Que? Perhaps you didn't see the end coming after all... :P

6/09/2009 9:36 PM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

Don't you know whatever happens in Ogden stays in Ogden?

Now we want that other story.

6/10/2009 10:53 AM  
Blogger NYPinTA said...

I was just about to say the same as Mr Schprok! You broke the bro code, dude. For shame.

Besides, I have a feeling the new Mrs. Chief would have got a big kick out of the fact that while "at school" you slept through the whole thing. Because that is hilarious.

6/13/2009 2:29 PM  
Blogger NYPinTA said...

Hmm, seems I lost a letter C somewhere...

6/13/2009 2:29 PM  
Blogger LL said...

Mr. S. - Have you ever been to Ogden? If ANYTHING happens in Ogden... you've just got to get it out there. They're really hoping to stimulate the tourist traffic.

Oh... and what other story are you referring to?

P - I did NOT break the bro code! I revealed nothing about the goings on of the night, except here. And since I'm not using real names and many years have expired...

As for me sleeping through class... I doubt she'd have gotten near the kick out of it that you did. Hmmmmm... but speaking of sleeping in class... I'm gonna have to go check my archives now.

I think I already told you the story I'm thinking of though...

6/13/2009 5:26 PM  
Blogger LL said...

Yup... I already told you that one.

6/13/2009 5:44 PM  
Blogger Thinkinfyou said...

I would say you're a whole bastard now. I wanted the moob story!!!

6/15/2009 5:42 PM  
Blogger LL said...

Oh... sorry about that. I was gonna do that... promise. ;)

6/15/2009 9:20 PM  
Blogger Bee said...

I think you're a great friend! I would have wanted to hear all the deets (that's details I just found out) and then made fun of my new husband right with you. Then I'd challenge everybody to do a beer bong.

6/23/2009 9:35 PM  

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