Thursday, September 21, 2006


Now we delve once again into the realm of classic tales of interesting characters from my area. Today's subject is a fellow named Morgan, or as everyone called him... Morgie.

I never knew Morgie, but that doesn't mean that I didn't hear the stories.

Morgie, if he were alive today, would probably be diagnosed as schizophrenic. He heard voices all the time, and being a religious man, he knew that it was the good lord speaking to him.

One day out of the blue, he hired a bulldozer to blade him a road to the top of mountain so that he could dig out the gold that was under the rimrock. Now bulldozers aren't cheap, and gold isn't just laying there, so Morgie was really stretching himself out. My cousin, Ray, drove up the new road and went up to Morgie to see what was up. Morgie told him that he was building a road so that he could get the gold that he knew was up there. My cousin was quite amazed.

"Wow Morgie... you're spending a lot of money. Shouldn't you hire a geologist or something to see if there's really gold up there?"
"Oh... I've got the best geologist there is."
"Really?!? Who?"

Morgie smacked his lips, looked at my cousin, and with his hand raised next to his ear, pointed up to the heavens.

It was at this point when Ray was telling me the story that he looked at me and said with a smile, "Now how do you argue with something like that."

Not long after that, Morgie got another message over the wire...

The cast of characters for this tale include an older fellow who was extremely hard of hearing. His name was Fred. He was a cantankerous old fellow, and he could hear the phone ring, but he couldn't hear anyone talking on it. So when he was home alone and the phone would ring, he'd pick it up and yell into the receiver, "Nobody's home." and hang the phone up. The rest of the cast, I'll have to introduce in turn.

Morgie's new message was something along the lines of a direction to kill the evil one, so he took his Winchester lever action .30-30 downtown and attempted to carry out his calling.

He was standing on a lawn shooting at the devil when Fred drove by. Morgie jacked a shell into the chamber and squoze off a round into Fred's car. In his haste to slay this dragon however, he didn't lead the car. So the bullet struck the rear window, blowing it to smithereens. Fred heard this explosion and thought that he'd blown a tire, so he stopped immediately and got out of the car to look at the tire. Of course this placed him directly in Morgie's crosshairs at a distance of 50 yards or so.

As Fred walked around the car looking at the tires, Morgie pushed the lever down ejecting the spent casing, and pulled the lever back up to jack another shell into the chamber for the coup de grace...

I probably should just quit right here, this post is getting a bit too long, and I really need to get to bed...


Today's Mystery Lyric:

Fine wine and champagne
are just kickin' it with Jim Beam.
It's all good
it goes down the same to me...


Anonymous bc said...

Squoze... I thought I was the only one who said that. LOLOLOL

And you just cant leave the story there like that. You cant..

9/22/2006 7:41 AM  
Blogger trinamick said...

I'm voting someone got blasted right in the poop chute.

And for once, I actually don't know the song. Incontheviable!

9/22/2006 10:52 AM  
Anonymous bc said...

I cant think of the actual name of the song yet but I know who sings it. ;o)

Word Verification: ujeixst LOLOL

9/22/2006 2:05 PM  
Blogger LL said...

It's my story, I can leave it anywhere I want... :D

That word you keep using... I do not think it means what you think it means.

9/22/2006 6:23 PM  
Blogger fermicat said...

Nooooooo! No cliffhangers allowed!

9/22/2006 9:13 PM  

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