Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree...

Damn... how sad is it that on a Thursday night there's nothing worth watching? How much sadder is it that I'm bored enough to actually make another post...

Oh well...

Time for another tale from the days of yore.

Back in the day, I went to college. I know... you can't tell most days, but yes... I've actually got a couple of degrees under my belt. But this isn't about my intellectual prowess, no... actually it's about my sweet tooth.

One of our favorite haunts was the Premium Malt Shoppe. And, believe it or not, they served malts and milk shakes. There's a shocker, no? And not just some weak runny colored crap. These were a real man's milkshake. 50's motif, the employees wore the red and white vertical striped uniforms and the little white paper hats, and the shakes were edible only with a spoon and on an empty stomach. Thick and 3 inches above the top of the cup. *slurp* If there was a Premium in Maine, I'd give it some ME love.

Anyway... one of the best parts about the ol' shoppe, was the drive up window. One of the worst parts about the ol' shoppe was the wait at the drive up window. The "Premium" was on the main street and only set back about two car lengths. That meant that the car at the window was out of harm's way, as was the car directly behind it. Next came the sidewalk, and that meant the third vehicle in line was half on, half off the main road. But that's where they'd run out and take your order so it was all good. After that, you just pulled off to the side of the road and hoped people didn't rear end you.

We were in the third hole the day that this particular tale took place. We were in my friend's pickup, and we knew enough not to block the sidewalk, because... well... it was common courtesy.

So we're viztin' along there as we waited about some life changing event I'm sure, when from our right a kid of about 8 years old rides down the sidewalk on his bicycle. He was a little wobbly, and his handlebars and front wheel were weaving back and forth just about as far as possible without him eating it. Now as I said... there was a good 4 feet between the car in front of us and the pickup's grill, plenty of room for him to get by, but he started to panic at the narrow corridor and just as he got to the middle of my buddy's front bumper, he wrecked right into the grill. He quickly put his left foot down to keep from falling all the way and then looked up at us in shock/embarrassment with his mouth half agape. The poor little guy had on these big coke bottle eyeglasses with wire frames. We felt really bad for the kid, and no anger was to be found even though the plastic grill might have suffered a little damage in the process.

The kid rights himself and speeds away before his dad, who was riding his bicycle right behind him, ran into him.

The dad slows down a bit and the kid rides away, but then the dad get's a little shakey and... BAM! tips over in exactly the same place as the kid, falling right into my buddy's grill. The dad quickly put his left foot down to keep from falling all the way and then looked up at us in shock/embarrassment with his mouth half agape. The dad had on these HUGE coke bottle eyeglasses with wire frames.

Now this turn of events was not what we'd expected. Neither one of us said a word, the dad righted the ship and peddled away. I looked over at my buddy, he looked over at me.

We both busted up laughing uncontrollably.

EDIT!!! This just in...


Today's mystery lyric: (Remember the rules folks, no online searching of the lyrics, if you don't know it, you don't have the answer!)

But the swagman he upped
and he jumped into the water hole
drowning himself by the coolibah tree
and his ghost ghost can be heard
as you walk along the bilabong

Answer to last lyric: Run to the Hills by Iron Maiden. Way to go Dan!.